Reeg's View

I used to give my boyfriend daily updates on the state of Regis Philbin's mental downfall. Regis screws up people's names constantly and often simply made no sense at all. I'd watch the chat and bookmark in my head points to prove his increasing Alzheimers driven insanity to share when my bf got home. I hung on every ridiculous word and adored when Kelly looked off, (in a non purposeful way) to the producers and gave them the "I told you yesterday- he's totally got Alzheimers" look. I'm with ya Kelly.

But it seems like Regis Philbin has got it this week! By "got it" I mean the deal. The deal at 'The View.'

On yesterdays titillating episode of "The View" Regis:

1. Alluded to the firing of Lisa Ling and Debbie Matanapolos
2. Alluded to the fact that Joy does and has always been annoyed by Star. (She didn't seem to mind this outing.)
3. Continually went back to these two topics when Barbara Walters would change the subject with the help of (Gawker donned pussy) Elisabeth Hasselbeck.
4. Suggested that maybe Star Jones would be fired to avoid awkwardness.

He got it!

But, this segment also does wonders for my theory about Regis going off the deep end. He was, of course, exposing the dirty laundry of his fellow network-mates.

Never retire Regis. Never retire.

Your a dumie

Im very gudgemental when it comes to gramer and speling.

Ive gotten many a email that ive rolled my eyes too and discounted people based on there bad gramer and speling. Ive mokked people, ignored they're opinions, called them out on beeing stupid all becuz of emails sent too me that have mispellings and bad word usage.

But than sometimes, I start tyeping and becauz my fingers go faster then my thoughts I make terrible gramer and speling mistakes. And than I reread and only cach sum mistakes becuz my eyes go faster then my reading. Then I get mad at myself wen I find mistakes after the send button has bin presed. I better not be judged for this I think by the reader i think.

I guess that makes me a hypocrit. But only sometimes. And I refuse to stop. I know who to judge. And who is not to be judged. I know! Because I'm smart despite my mistakes. I'm one of the ones whom you ignore the mistakes because of my intense brain power and nowledge. Kind of like how you sometimes ignore socially awkward geniuses social awkwardnes. In this story, I'm the jeanius.

My parents recently found my blog. My mom is not happy. Now sh'es really going to be not happy when she hears that sometimes I make grammer and spelling mistakes in my emails. Not going to be happy. And my dad- my dad does NOT like people when I judge people based on how stupid they are. He does not like that.

I am simply a knightmare.

Why I Shouldn't Marry An Investment Banker

My office-mate is in Ireland this week and so she has a temp. However, the temp can't really do so much without me taking time out to teach her, which is pointless. So, I'm dealing with making travel arrangements for the person she supports. I totally don't mind- Why? Because he's a really nice, friendly, family type of guy who appreciates when I help out. If you're gonna marry an IB he's the one it seems you should marry. He's always talking about things he did with his wife and never creeps me out- which is monumental around here. We were looking for restaurants where he's traveling and he said he'd email his colleague who lives in the area. This is part email I was forwarded:

" Try [Seafood Restaurant] or [Another Seafood Joint] if you want seafood. You can get a good steak at [Steak Restaurant]. The last 2 places have pretty good bars- the talent should be good."

I highlighted that just in case it wasn't creepy enough. Before I read it he said "Helen, just read about the hotel, don't worry about the talent thing."

Even when it seems like you should marry em......

And so goes the first day of the rest of my life....

My phone is not working today. Cingular apologizes on it's messge. Do they not realize what this means to me? Who could be calling me? How important today could be in relation to the rest of my life? For Real.

I'll tell them.

1. I auditioned for a commercial yesterday. I did a damn fine job of biting into a cracker and then being SHOCKED at it's exploding new taste. They could need my availability!

2. I have had several agent meetings in the past few months. They could be calling me telling me that they lost my number but they recently found my headshot and thanked the Lord that they had not lost the number for their newest big talent.

3. I am single and looking for love in very specific places.

4. I have resumes out there for jobs. Good jobs, exciting jobs, creative jobs, jobs that don't involve me using terms like "timber acquisitions," like my current job does.

5. I am bored. Well not bored as in nothing to do, bored more like antsy, gotta get out of the office and stop making travel arrangements bored. My friend works down the block. Maybe she's bored too. Maybe we could get some coffee and discuss all the prospects that we are both missing out on because of Cingular.

My phone is working again. No one has called back. None of the agents or casting directors or future employers or coffee mates or love interests. I hope they didn't give up on me. I haven't given up on them. Thanks a lot Cingular.

Hello Green! (aka. I'm so vain, I totally think every song is about me)

When people see people mostly they say "Hi." But when they say "Hello!" I have a split second of "Hel" where I think someone is calling my name and I do the awkward turn and smile.

I walk down the street and I hear creepy men screaming at me, "Hey Green!" So I turn and look, and smile and say "Hey" back, while wondering where I met such a dirty man. I don't imagine this. I believe that they must know me if they're calling my name.
And they are calling me, but I don't know them. However, I do wear a bright green jacket.

Helllllooo Green. I'm way less popular than I think.

more like ASS Wednesday!

Ash Wednesday pisses me off.

That's right, I, a girl who is not unfaithful has said that a religious holiday pisses her off.

And I mean it. It's pissed me off since I was little and I knew waking up that it would piss me off today. It made me feel kind of bad and left out when I was a little Protestant girl, but I couldn't pin point why. Now I understand: Ash Wednesday is the biggest holiday for the pious and judgmental Catholic people who both are and aren't religious. People walk around with that shit on their head all day as they're being dicks, probably dickier than usual, (that's the judgmental) then they give us non Catholics dirty looks when we look confused at the sighting of our first pious & judgmental Catholic of the day.

"What was I looking at? I was looking at the huge black mark on your head, I was going to warn you that you look like an asshole, but apparently you're doing it on purpose." People get mad if you don't tell them they have food in their teeth- why would I not tell you you have a giant black mark on your head-- I don't' remember the dates for your silly holidays. "Also, you probably don't pray OR go to Church. But mostly, you don't even do semi- Godly things!"

Like that woman I got into an altercation on the escalator this morning--I bet she is now walking around with ashes. I was pretty nice to her, especially considering what she was doing-- She was standing on the left side of the escalator and not moving during rush hour.

Me: 'scuse me (I said POLITELY! with a little smile even,as the long line of people behind me yelled and grunted at the hold up.)
Her: What?
Me: Can I get through?
(She ignores me and turns forward)
Me: This is the side for walking, (I point at the empty space in front of her) RIGHT (I point to the long line of people) is the side for standing (STILL POLITE I SWEAR! and people behind were yelling "MOVE" and "EXCUUSE ME" over their ipod music.

Her:It's not a rule.

ME: YES it's a rule. (Politely, but emphatically, because I think, it's not a LAW, but it's kind of a rule.

Her: DON'T BOTHER ME

Jesus!

OOPS! I mean Jeez.

Now I bet that woman is walking around with shit on her forehead.