Project: Projects

Memorial Day brought Ex-IB and I back from beach to the city. In search of some new beach shorts we decided to take a walk along the east side of Manhattan down to the seaport. Being a west side girl who grew up on the water, I've walked down and enjoyed the west side many times before, and expected the same lovely vibe on the east side. And althought it does have that lovely outter skirt for some stretches, the vibe is a little less brand new, overpriced luxury apartments, a little more sweaty shirtless men, riding bicyles with boom boxes strapped to them.

While looking at the east side's apartment buildings ExIB and I had this conversation:

Ex IB: You never hear about anyone living in the projects..

Me: What do you mean, a zillion people live in the projects.

Ex-IB: No, people we know.

Me: Well ..I mean... I don't think our friends... are ... the type of people to live in the projects.....

ExIB: Yeah but those apartments are probably cheap.

Me: But they're the PROJECTS!

Ex IB: Who cares, look they have terraces that overlook the water! I'd live there! I wonder how much a 1 bedroom costs.

Me: You can't! You'd need to qualify, you couldn't make over a certain amount of money.

Ex IB: Oh... Really? I didn't know that........ Well then YOU should live there! I can't believe you haven't thought of this before!

I did not know what level of insult, if any of all I should take to this, so my reaction took pause.

Me: First of all...... I would not qualify to live in the projects.

Ex IB: Are you sure?

Me: I AM POSITIVE!

Ex IB: I don't know....

Me: I do!

Ex IB: I don't see how these people could make less than you!

Me: THESE PEOPLE WORK AT MCDONALDS!

Ex IB: Well let's say you could.. you should then...

Me: You'd reaaaaally be alright with sending me home to the projects tonight?

Ex IB: Sure! Why not!

Me: What? Do you want someone to harass me or rape me.

Ex IB: Helen, people aren't raped just because it's the projects..

Me: So, me, little 5'2 me is going to walk into the projects in my green JCrew coat and my headbands and the people who live there will just be cool with it?

Ex IB: I don't see why not.



Ex IB thinks that my current apartment's heating system is antiquated and that the apartment generally lacks conveniences and so he rarely comes to my place. He is currently looking for an apartment for himself and disgregards any that do not have a dishwasher.


He's never going to visit me in the projects.

Since I've Been Gone

* A relative got married.
* A friend got a puppy.
* A friend got a big promotion with a fancy new title and paycheck.
* A friend had a baby.
* A friend's song finished out the season finale of 'Grey's Anatomy.'
* A friend bought a house in the suburbs.
* I bought a dress from Anthropologie that I suspect was mistakenly marked from $128.00 to $29.99 since all of the other same dresses were not marked down that much!

In other me related news.....

*I went through the interviewing process. I got turned down by a very close to the 'job of my dreams' job. I got a few second interviews to a few extremely far from the 'job of my dreams' jobs and turned them down. I got a not 'job of my dreams' but job that could hopefully lead to the 'job of my dreams' job and took it.

*I made myself sick with nerves when faced with the need to give my boss 2 weeks notice. My friends called me nuts and told me my bosses would be happy that I was leaving that dead end job. I subsequently walked into my favorite bosses office, gave him the news and he turned away groaning, "UGH. This isn't good." He slammed a pen on his desk and returned to the stack papers he had been looking at, now shaking his head, grinding his teeth, and everyone once in a while grunting, "Uggggghhhh!" I tiptoed out of his office without any well wishes.

* My other boss threw a going away party for me- an abnormality for an administrative assistant, nevermind one with just a year at the company. A big wig in our company somehow found out and attended, which resulted in people believing they understood the abnormality and thus sending me off with a rumor that I wasn't as innocent as I looked.

*I started the new job only to realize that I am not dealing with the classiest of content. Several embarrasing meeting ensue, the last one being yesterday, when, after stuttering a bit and turning a red, a colleague of mine felt the need to help me out by offering, "the term is 'flacid.'"


Also....

...One rainy Sunday afternoon Ex-IB were in his apt watching a movie when the sounds of explosions interrupted us.... we didn't flinch until we realized that his apartment smelled like burning. A peek out the window led us to a trip outside which led us to the news that potholes were exploding in front of his building, one blowing up a car.

....Some sort of scaffolding fell from my work building crashing into windows, breaking the windows and falling to the ground on the side of my work building, mangling a telephone poll.

....A 26 year old woman in Midtown fell through the grating on the street, surprisingly it wasn't me.

In family news...

--My mom emailed me in regards to an expiring bond I had, asking if she should again tie it up for 5 years. Before mentioning the actual issue at hand though, my mom left me a message that went like this "Hey Hel, hope you're having a good week, if you could give me a call that'd be great, I just wanted to catch up with my favorite girl and see what's been up.. oh.. also do you think you're going to be getting married in the next 5 years, no rush, just tell me by Friday."

--My mom emailed me before my cousin's wedding, "Remember when I showed you what I was going to wear? I think it's too mother-of-the bridesy, but I LOVE it so if you could tell me before I return it if you are going to get married in the next 2 years that would be great. "

I actively ignored these two messages.

--I went to my cousin's wedding. I stood in the back with my brother's girlfriend as the bouquet was being tossed and was warned by another bridesmaid that she may "push [us] out of the way" if need be. We backed up further and struck up a conversation. The conversation came to a halt when a half dozen tightly packed stems of roses were hurled directly in my face. I put my hand up directly in front of my face promptly catching them. Due to her reaction at the time I suspect that my mom has taken this as a sign, and secretly taken the money out of the bond and thrown out the receipt for the outfit.