Things You Can Tell Just by Looking at Her........ Desk

I was grabbing some lunch with a friend. We were eating salad (approved by Ex-IB because according to my Republican boyfriend that's what girls should eat for lunch). I needed to run downstairs where she'd be meeting me and I was running a bit late. I left the screen on my computer up. I left my desk looking the way it looked.

When I got back my boss was acting strange around me.* He seemed disappointed in me.** And I started getting paranoid that I was going to get fired.

So I looked at my desk and I thought, "did he see something he disapproved of?" And then I started thinking... what if I didn't know who sat at this desk. I would surmise so many things. Untrue things. True things. What has my boss surmised about me!? Since this is the begining of the year and I failed to do an end of the year 'best of' list thing, I shall begin the blogging year with a list:

Things You Could Tell (assume) Just By Looking at Her Desk:

1) I am very busy and have a demanding job that requires me to scatter papers around my desk and hunch my back over them, face in hands, brow furrowed.

2) I am throwing a dinner party for super important foodie people and need to go through hundreds of pages of recipes and food magazines searching for the perfect recipes.

3) I eat oatmeal with some honey in it for breakfast.

4) I smell good (fancy Yon Ka mist lotion I got from my PR days). I feel good (Neutrogena hand cream I inherited from departing analyst).

5) I am about to attempt to flee the country (pages regarding getting a passport quickly, stapled papers of various countries regarding their exit and entry policies).

6) I am looking to flee this bank and get a new job. (Slips of papers with labels and job titles on top, majority labeled, "job at the Food Network"

7) I do needle point (black thread with threaded needle).

8) I am super lonely and I have no friends or family (no pictures of me with babies and such).

9) I am a lesbian (picture on screen of Ashlee Simpson's nipple slip.)

Four of these are true!

Ooooo game for you! Oooo mystery!

*This could be NOT TRUE. Sometimes I think no one likes me when I really get no real signs that this is the case. I am aware of this downfall of mine and yet I still fall for it every time!

**This too is most likely NOT TRUE. Sometimes I am beyond the perfect admin assistant because I am afraid that I am going to get fired when I get no signs or reasons that this is the case.