A Helen Advisory:

If you ever, EVER hear me say "I'm going to take the bus to work" again, PHLEASE:


First: Accost Me
I am small and although I may get fiesty, it's an act, you can take me, just watch out for biting.

Second: Take away my Metro Card.
It's in my wallet, which is small and brown. The monthly is kept on the edge BUT watch out- there's also a hidden one with money on it in the middle for emergencies and/or out of town guests.

Third: Remind me of this morning.
If I have any memory of it at all, and I haven't blocked it out, like I sometimes do unpleasant things (like, say, puking) then we should be safe from here.

I appreciate it, dear friends and fellow New Yorkers. It'll be better for all of us.