About Dear Helen Green

I had a proposal a few weeks ago. A proposal my dear friend Janet wanted to get accomplished. We wanted to meet the Company Bitch. We wanted questions to be answered, we wanted curiosities to subside, we wanted to see if she's as pretty as she says and we wanted to prove to an anonymous girl that we are friend soul mates! So I wrote CB a letter on this blog.

The following Saturday night I found myself at an East Village bar with Ex-IBanker and Co., a few Stellas in, when I took out my Trio to seem as fancy as the rest. One would have thought I received an email from [fill in celebrity of your liking here] by the way I freaked out and ran out of the bar.

I call Janet. No answer. I know she is at a BBQ in the Jerz, unable to chat. I text her, "Seriously call me ASAP." (I clearly have no respect for emergency words in texts.)

This is what had appeared in my email prompting my erratic behavior:

Hey Helen,

I'm both flattered & newly paranoid about my bar conversations. I'd love to meet you guys but I'm kind of obsessed with staying anonymous. At least until I get fired.
-CB
P.S. You do look a little like me

Well at least we got one questioned answered (She's TOTALLY hot!)

I skipped home that evening and learned one thing: To make an Ex-IB understand celebrity bloggers you can compare them to high school football recruits.

Me: Maybe I seem a little strange for being so excited that she saw my blog, and read something I wrote (oh my GOD!), BUT you'd be excited if some super good high school football recruit took a bit of an interest in you! And I think that that's totally retarded- but hey!

I pat myself on the back for good communication skills with a species previously unknown to me: The Sports Minded Boy. (And I will remember this incident when random high schoolers start emailing him.)

ANYWAY, that Monday Janet and I didn't expect a miracle and for CB to go back on her plea for anonymity, but we did suspect that she'd show up, but not let herself be known. We suspected everyone that Monday night at Coppersmiths: The girl with the silver embellished jeans

Janet:Maybe that's her
Me: Uh. NO Way!
Janet: "Why NOT!?
Me: Janet, she said she looked like me, are you calling me TACKY!?! Embellished jeans?!"

...the pudgy giggly girls hanging out with the softball team....
Janet: Maybe that's CB and S!
Me: Oh now I'm FAT, ugh, my nutritionist friend is calling me FAT!?

the dude near the window who could have TOTALLY been Re-Boyfriend, the waitress, it could have been ANYONE!

Janet was fresh off a run, I was fresh off a yoga class. Calm but anxious. The time passed. We polished off some wings, we drank a few Bud Lights. We got frustrated. ...

But we understood. And we calmed down. And we will stay loyal. And we cannot WAIT until Oprah Winfrey reveals you. Which will happen. And when a movie surrounding your blog is written by you and produced. Which I'm banking on happening...(I am an actress who looks like you... ehem.)

Definitely.