Midtown Mid Day Mid Seizure

I am a proud creative mind behind my lunch salads.

Lunch salads, I think, are SO important because if you do not have breakfast, they must satisfy your morning and afternoon hunger. They are also important because they must be exciting for me because otherwise I will fall asleep at my desk:

In the morning: Because I will not have something to brainstorm
At lunch: Because I need flavor! And variety!
Afterwards: Because I need to be full as not to snack or eat so early upon returning home that I regret the loss of an opportunity to cook.

Lunch salads are VERY different than Dinner salads, which, I have been trying to explain to Ex-IB, but he cannot deal with arugula lightly dressed with lemon, olive oil and sea salt sitting next to, waiting to compliment, his main course. I would understand his need for 'stuff' in his salad if I was trying to pass off that dressed arugula as a lunch salad, but for dinner the heartiness comes elsewhere.

With lunch salads there needs to be a combination. A complimentary combination. There are decisions to make and a level of hunger to consider and the genius often comes off the cuff- but so do the mistakes. When I threw water chestnuts in with mandarin oranges, I blundered. Asparagus/ bacon/ egg white/ artichoke and parmesan- I had to walk away from it at my desk and take a breather: what good fortune! I did not experiment with drugs growing up, so now I experiment with lettuce/vegetable/cheese combinations.

*There's of course the beet/ goat cheese/ sometimes mushrooms or hearts of palm in a balsamic
*The really good but over done spinach/ cranberries/ walnuts/ blue cheese
*The indulgent mandarin orange/wonton/ tofu or chicken in an oriental dressing
*The corn/ tomato/ steak/ blue cheese
*The mexicanish corn/ tomato/ avocado/ cheddar/ jalepeno/ lime
*The greekish chick pea/ feta/ cucumber with lemon juice/ vinegar/ Olive Oil
*The Pre- dinner at a restaurant heart of palm/ artichoke/portobello/ lemon herb vinaigrette

This morning I was feeling greekish. The woman in line in front of me was feeling, I hope, either pregnant or high.

She started with mesculan greens. Then announced, "tuna." (Which is my worst enemy- do not come near me with that shit. But I kept my cool. Some fools like it. And if she stopped there, or added scallions or tomato I wouldn't have scoffed too much. I wouldn't have kissed her or gone near her, but I would have accepted the situation.)

"Tomatoes"

Like I said...

"Do you have pickles?"

I perked up- WTF, for real? Please say on the side at least.
"Ok, then pickles and croutons....

(It was at this point I started taking notes.)

".....cheddar....in a..."

In a? You need a dressing now?!?!?!?! There isn't enough moisture from the tuna, tomatoes and the pickle juice?!?!?!? Please don't do anything increasingly dumb....

"Raspberry vinaigrette."

And then I died because I was breathing in too much canned fish and stupidity.