Sorry Grandma.

This is getting to be a pattern. Two years ago I almost burned down my grandmother's house. I lit a candle on the third floor (where my grandmother never really goes) at about 5PM and then at 11AM the next day, my parents were there and saw that the desk I had carelessly leaned the candle on, was on fire. They called me, "You almost killed your grandmother!"

Then the other day my grandmother was rushed to the hospital. Turns out she's allergic in a 'can die' way to something I excessively fed her (that neither one of us knew she was allergic to.) Yesterday my mom came home for lunch and told me, "We found out what's wrong with your grandmother- Helen, you almost KILLED her!"

I feel badly about both incidents, but as my grandmother, the queen of sayings would say, "Almost doesn't count."