I'm going as a Whore- a Slutty Whore!

Halloween is definitely my least favorite holiday. It brings out the worst in people (and by worst I mean cheesiest- because isn’t that the worst?). Have you ever been to the Village Halloween party? The most annoying folks at their worst. Then there’s this: you have a new friend and you like them and then October rolls around and they get all crazy talking about costume details. God.

A few years ago I heard a revelation about Halloween just being an excuse for girls to dress slutty, and I thought it was just that, a revelation. My college Italian professor said, “girls can’t just dress as a cop, it has to be a slutty cop, no girl is just an angel, she’s a slutty angel!” Yes Professor! You are right! I’ve heard that theory a lot the past few years. So, you’d think now that it’s out there, girls wouldn’t do this as much anymore. But I can tell you they do, as I saw a gaggle of slutty nurses on the 1 9 train Saturday night.

A few years ago I went to a ‘Pimps and Hos’ party—THAT’S an excuse to dress as your favorite whore- just say it like it is dude. It was great, I put on my favorite leopard print skirt, that was attached to a matching midriff by a chain, some fishnets and hoop earrings and I was ready to go. Embracing the whore theme.

Next year I’m dressing up. I’m going to be the antithesis of the slutty or sexy whatever. When I was 5 and living in Connecticut I wanted to dress up for Halloween as a ballerina. But it was freezing and my tights and tutu weren’t cutting it, so my mom dressed me up warmly and called me the “Bundled Up Ballerina.” Next year I think all girls should go as a bundled up something. Because every day we get to dress as sluts, but how often to we get to dress up as a bundled up ballerina.