My Mother the Alien

My mother puts me on edge like no one in the world. We will be talking about something and she'll find a problem in the situation that is just totally absurd and none of the facts point to. This was my convo with her earlier:

Saltaire76: Hiya! How are you? where are you?
Hellnhevin: i'm ok
Hellnhevin: i'm temping, why?
Saltaire76: nothing just wondering
Hellnhevin: oh ok
Hellnhevin: did jeanne tell you about the party
Saltaire76: no
Saltaire76: what time is it
Hellnhevin: i don't know exactly
Saltaire76: and the party might be over - when do you think you are getting here. Hellnhevin: and the party might be over?
Hellnhevin: don't know, depends
Saltaire76: if you get here at 6:30 and the party is at 5 it could be over
Hellnhevin: did i say i was getting there at 6:30 or that the party was at 5?
Saltaire76: forget it
Hellnhevin: i don't get it
Hellnhevin: i don't think the party is going to be over in an hour and a half anywya
Saltaire76: are you going to call little robbie today and fine out the time or are you just coming no matter
Hellnhevin: i'll call them
Hellnhevin: i'm not really nervous about the time thing
Hellnhevin: she didnt' seem too concerned
Saltaire76: cuz today is his real birthday
Hellnhevin: i know
Saltaire76: well gotta go

To me, knowing my mother, this conversation is nuts. It always is. I say something and she finds a problem that could fester up. What if the party starts at 5 and I get there at 6:30? There is no evidence to support ANY of these hypothesis. Maybe knowing the situation makes it more ridiculous. Like the fact that I'm staying at their house that night anyway. The fact that the child is turning 4 and the party is informal and at their house.

My mom is queen of the negativity club. A few weeks ago, after the breakup she told me that I shouldn't have just taken talk about marriage and the future to mean that we'd be getting married but also consiously realized that "he could screw me at any moment." Not screw like sex, screw like screw me over.She said you shoudl always think these things no matter how good things are so that you're not so disappointed when they happen. So, after 5+ years I totally should have been on edge and waiting for the shoe to drop apparently. That would have been a fun time. My mother is not a human being.