You think less of me now?

I have to admit something.

And after I admit it I fear people will think one of two things. Either you'll feel like you're not alone (which I don't fear, but I also don't think will happen) or you'll think that I'm crazy. You'll say to yourself, or to someone who knows me better than you do, "Is she nuts?" Maybe that person will tell you that last year for Valentine's Day I got an US Magazine subscription and then you'll think I'm definitely a star fucker and definitely nuts over what I'm about to divulge. That I thought (and continue to think) that US Magazine was a sweet, thoughtful V'day gift will make you further assured that I am a crazy person as well as a star wannabe/ star fucker.

I may be crazy (but more due to circumstances than nature, I think), I may love celeb gossip (but in, I think, a very healthy way), I may want to be an actress (and why not just go all the way and say, "Hey! I'd settle on a W List actress but I'll take one of the earlier letters"), but I am NOT a star fucker. (Not yet at least. Being single and having friends in the entertainment industry has made me think that maybe that'd be a good alternative to a true love I had and hoped for, but then I'd be a literal star fucker, and it'd be for career/ attention purposes (and also because then maybe I could get free Abercrombie clothes and Starbucks)). But none of those, I don't believe at least, are the reason for what I'm about to explain.

Here we go: When I picture things that I imagine doing in the future, and I'm thinking of what I'll say in a certain scenario, I don't picture myself doing it. I picture other people, but they stand for me. And I don't do it purposly and the people change and I can't decide who they are. I don't know how long this has been happening but i can tell you who the people have been lately (like in the last year or so): Reese Witherspoon, Jessica Simpson, Rachel Bilson and Mischca Barton. Lately I think I've been making the transformation from Bilson to Barton. The scenarios are everyday no big deal happenings as well as dramatic situations. They can be in the past too. Like when I think of an incident that happened a few weeks ago, I picture Rachel Bilson in an awkward situation. When I picture something that I know will happen in the near future, for some reason I'm picturing Mischa, but she's wearing my clothes.

Luckily I like these celebs and I think they're all pretty. I suppose I can see myself in all of them in some way, but it's not like I think I'm just like them. I wonder, when I think about this, is there some part of them, or perhaps a character they play that I need moreso in this scenario.

So get your votes in.. I'm crazy right?