Why I Can't Marry an Investment Banker

There are about 10 IBs about 5 feet away from me and one of them is explaining the "Tom Cruise is gay and Katie Holmes is contracted to play his wife" theory. They are all acting SHOCKED. Just shocked!

FOR REAL!?

"Where did you hear THAT?!"
"Oh this stuff is underground, it's not even IN US Weekly."
"What? NO!"
"Maybe that would make sense."
"Well I guess 'Pieces of April' doesn't pay the bills."


This just isn't acceptable. A year ago- MAYBE. Not 2006 though. No way.