Home Alone

My roomates left me alone this last weekend. One flew across the country and one across the world and they left and trusted me all by my lonesome to man the fort. This kind of freaked me out at the beginning, SO, I tried to lobby people to sleep over (NOT in a slutty way!). But people "wanted to sleep in their own bed" people were "away for the holiday weekend" people thought I "should be mature enough to sleep in an apartment by yourself Helen!" Well FINE!

So I thought....what do I miss about living alone? I didn't know.... but it became pretty apparent, pretty fast.

It started Thursday night. Coming home at 1 am I made a burrito, and sat on my bed with the door open, watching "The Gilmore Girls." All this after I had removed my clothing and not replaced it.

Friday night I got home after sushi dinner and a mini margarita fest that turned into a sangria margarita on my white sweatshirt. I returned home and removed and bleached my sweatshirt. I took the rest of my clothing off as well, as not to let my white sweatshirt feel like it was being left out of anything. I grabbed a Tofutti Cutie and resigned myself to my bed, with the door open, watching the season finale of "How I Met Your Mother."

Saturday I decided to cook. Meal? Chipoltle Macaroni & Cheese. Clothing? Optional. Option Chosen? Limited. Success rate? Super succesful! I ate the Mac & Cheese on my bed, watching the finale of "Will & Grace," with the door open, no additional clothing.

Sunday was beautiful and a little more classy as far as my wardrobe. However, it also involved me being possibly publicly on display. I split my time between my roof and my apartment, all the while in a bikini with no cover up. (Is that OK? to be prancing around my apartment building in a bikini? On Sunday I decided YES. Maybe NO in the future.)

I got out of the shower that evening and decided, upon exiting the bathroom, that it was high time I did some cleaning. I did just that. In my post shower wardbrobe.

Do you get the pattern? Mundane, but pleasant semi-nudity.

HERE'S WHERE IT GETS TRICKY:

Sunday evening one of my friends sat on my bed. (Not in a slutty way! Geez!) IT BROKE! My bed broke! We tried to fix it, but apparently not well because hours later someone ELSE sat on my bed and it TOTALLY broke. Books are now holding up my bed and it's CLEARLY broken. Ikea is totally the enemy.

Now, after this broken bed incident my roomates are going to come home and their suspicions will be that I spent the weekend exactly as I did: Scantily clad and in our aparment.......

EXCEPT in a total slutty way.